Close your eyes, take deep breaths. That's about the best I can tell you, doesn't make it much easier, but worth a try.

The problem with us Aries moons, is that we *don't* like to hold back our anger- we desire to lash out at that which angers us, it can be so satisfying; strike quick, and strike hard, physically or verbally. And verbally can be pretty bad, as we can be quite cruel, we want to inflict damage on their emotions. The anger circulates within us, so bad that we can almost feel our blood pressure rising, making the desire to unleash it even worse, and it almost feels as though the devil is in us. Then in 5 minutes or so, it's gone, and we're fine, except for maybe feeling just a tad unhealthy for putting our bodies through the stress. Not to mention, sore knuckles/fists if you happened to have taken your anger out on a wall, and the hurt feelings of those unlucky enough to hear/feel our verbal wrath.

In other words, I hope you didn't say anything in your messages to them that you may not have meant and will regret later, we tend to do that. The Sagi, though, doesn't sound like she's on your side at all, might be a good thing if you said things that will keep her away from you.

Hi, Nejispirit,

Anger issues are something Aries Moons do know about! I went so far as to go to an Anger Management seminar, which helped quite a bit.

Later I got a book which is VERY helpful. It is called __Putting Anger to Work for You!__ by Ruth and Joel Schroeder. It is a kind of workbook.

Mainly, the book says there are several kinds of anger:
1. Anger which comes from feeling that your self-worth is being threatened. That is, when you are feeling deprived, exploited, manipulated, frustrated, betrayed, or humiliated....your self-worth feels threatened. You get angry. Anger alerts you that you are being somehow violated. Anger provides you the energy to act to take your self-worth back.

2. Anger which comes from your reaction to Injustice. Some call this "righteous" anger...for instance, if you see a child being beaten or a person benefitting from wrongdoing, anger propels you to do something about it. Again, anger provides energy.

3. Anger can also alert you to your unmet needs. These may be real or perceived needs. For instance, you need food, clothing and shelter, but if your job does not pay enough to meet those needs, you will be angry. People get angry when they are afraid. Fear in the heart comes from the tongue as anger. When you realize that the source of your anger is fear, and when you deal with the cause of your fear, anger will dissipate.

(In all the above situations, anger can be your friend. But you must recognize your anger and use it to motivate you to take constructive steps to change the situation. You cannot change the actions of others, but you can change your own actions and act appropriately. You can deal with your anger by acting aggressively ("blowing up"--which both isolates you and exposes you....not good), or by passive aggression ("being nice and controlling or denying your anger"--can make you sick or prone to accidents), or by Proactive Assertiveness ("stating your needs" and taking responsibility for yourself and your own life.)---the BEST way to deal with your anger.

4. CHRONIC ANGER: This is anger that is more deeply rooted, and is damaging to all involved. It comes from 3 sources:

* Parental modeling: You may have learned to be angry from your parents or parental role models. Think about how your parents handled anger. How can you handle your anger better than they did?

*Unresolved events: If your anger is out of proportion to the event, that's a good indication that "old anger" is operating. Sometimes the rage you are directing at a friend or lover is actually leftover rage from childhood! It takes courage and commitment to ferret out the unresolved events in your life and deal with them one by one. Another indication that you're dealing with "old anger" is if you aim your anger at the wrong target. For example, someone makes you angry and work and you come home and yell at your kids. This comes from learning to "displace" your anger, which is not a good idea.

*Irrational Beliefs: Analyze your vocabulary. If you think in "shoulds," "oughts," and "musts," then more than likely you harbor some irrational beliefs that fuel your anger.

Consider whether any of the following irrational beliefs trigger anger in you. Notice that each belief is based on either winning the approval of others, being treated "right," or getting what you want:

IRRATIONAL BELIEFS:

1. The "My Rules or Else" Fallacy: I judge others by MY RULES. Those who follow them are okay. Those who don't are wrong!

2. The "Entitlement" Fallacy: Because I want something very much, I ought to have it---NOW!

3. The Fallacy of "Fairness": There is an absolute standard of correct and "fair" behavior. People should know it and live up to it.

4. The Fallacy of "Control": I can control the behavior of others---I just need to apply enough pressure!

5. The "Conditional Acceptance" Fallacy: If you love me, you'll . . . . . . . . .. . ., no matter what.

6. The "Letting it Out" Fallacy: People who hurt me or don't treat me kindly should be punished.

7. The "Self-Performance" Fallacy: People will judge me as a person based on the success of my performance.

How to overcome chronic anger? Here's an example:

A. My child misbehaves in a restaurant.
B. My child is misbehaving because I am a bad parent.
C. I feel rotten, inadequate, and angry.

You cannot change A.
You can change B to this: "It's two hours past my child's normal bedtime. Most children misbehave when they are tired."
How do I feel now? "I become more concerned about my child's needs and take steps to get home as soon as possible."
You could not change A, but you did change B, which in turn changed C.

So, with irrational beliefs, it's important to CHANGE THE BELIEF.

So, there you go! I hope this helps!

(Another great book that has helped me deal with my Anger is __Love is Letting Go of Fear__ by Gerald G. Jampolsky, M.D.)

Yea.. I know what u mean.
Well, I have an Aries moon but Libra Sun/Aquarius Rising
AND on top of it I was born in the year of the tiger.. which creates an interesting chart..
I truly loathe discord... but when it triggers me right my anger is.. well YOU BETTA DUCK!! Because something is going to go flying... But anger can also be due to some unresolved issues in the past. So maybe taking a good look at your past may hold some answers for you.
I'm starting to think the past holds a lot of answers to who we are today..
This is also an emotion.. so Aries people are very emotional..everyone I know is like this. I dated an Aries guy one time..fell for him so hard and then it was his anger that ruined everything so its a big deal when you sacrifice your own happiness because of anger issues.